I want to have it all. I want to water my grass so it’s greener than everyone else’s. I want to be so busy watering my own grass and sculpting it into the perfect little manicured paradise, that I literally have no time to worry about my neighbor’s grass. And even if I did have time, I wouldn’t nitpick them for the angle at which they mow their yard , or stress that their green is prettier than my green. No, no, no. There is no time for that nonsense! If I choose to take care of my own yard as best I can, if I hone in on the craft of Agrostology (the study of grass – I had to look it up too), then I wouldn’t have time to be jealous about anybody else’s grass.
No, I am not a landscaper or a gardener (much to my parent’s dismay, no doubt). My dad ran his own landscaping business for a couple years and my mom is actually a “master gardener,” which I think means that she has a plant-kill rate of less than 5%. And this example is probably subpar anyways, because in Arizona you can coddle your grass and it will still die. But all of that aside, what does grass have to do with parenting? Errrr…nothing, actually.
But, it does have something to do with YOU. Do you remember pre-mom you? The one who had dreams and goals and aspirations to be something fabulous and amazing? And then all of a sudden you became “mom” and put all of that on the back burner. Being the best mom you can be means being the best YOU that you can be.
We’ve all seen her, that mom at your kid’s soccer game who always seems so freaking perfect. Like who has time to do their hair at 8am on a Saturday anyways? Beyond that, she has her shit together. She runs her own business, takes crap from nobody, and her child is the one who scores like three goals. EVERY. SINGLE. GAME. Damn you Supermom. But even more than that, I want to scream in exasperation, “how do you do it?” while silently pleading, “please let me be you.”
How does she do it? Is it rocket science? Is she Victoria Beckham in disguise? Being the best version of yourself means honing in on what you are naturally very good at (i.e. your ‘native genius’). Mix that with something you are deeply passionate about and combine that with something you can make money doing, and boom, you are set. Promise! This process if called finding your Personal Hedgehog*, or as I like to say “Getting Your Posh On.”
1. Passion – What are the things you absolutely love doing? What do you do in your spare time? What are your favorite hobbies? What activities do you completely lose all track of time doing? Write them all down. Sure, go ahead and write down sleeping and shopping. Whatever floats your passion boat.
2. Skills – What are your native geniuses? Think about the times in your life where people have said, “wow, you’re really good at this!” Figuring out your skill set can be difficult sometimes because the things you are naturally really good at don’t seem like skills to you. Maybe you have the gift of creativity, public speaking, organization, problem solving? Skills are things that come easy to you, but do not come easy to others. Like me and sales. We go together like oil and water. I couldn’t sell a pillow to a sleepy mom to save my life. But I have friends who could sell a snowmobile to a desert dweller. Their native genius is people skills (mixed with persuasion and negotiation). It just comes easy to them. Take some time to really think this part through.
3. Money – What needs exist in the world that your talents specifically satisfy, that you can make money doing? You can think as big or as small as you like. Think about what things are missing in your life, or roles that are missing at your company. Or you can think big picture, like how the skills you possess could positively change the world. Think outside the box. Disruptive technologies are changing the way we live every single day (I literally have trouble remembering life before Uber).
Get to work making lists for each of these three categories. I mean it! Get out paper and a pencil (I'm laughing as I write this because who really still has pencils laying around?) More realistically, get on your computer or your phone and start typing out a list. Put some time and energy into this. It could literally change the course of your life! Are you seeing any recurring themes? Does a certain skill/passion seem to keep resurfacing? Now get creative. What are ways you can make money using this skill set?
This actually works. It is not a new concept that I conceived while lying on the couch watching Bubble Guppies with my son. I used this method to rediscover my passion for writing and wanting to inspire people. Once you master this concept, you will be well on your way to being the best YOU that you can be.
So if you want to Bend it like Beckham, or more accurately, Perfect it like Posh, take some time to find your pre-mom passion again and reignite that flame.