To shower or not to shower? A baby shower for your first born is pretty much a no-brainer. Heck, you might even have two or three showers. But by the time baby #2 comes along, all the pomp and circumstance has fizzled out, and baby is lucky if mom and dad even have the crib set up for their arrival. Sorry number two, but you better get used to it…
Throwing a baby shower for the second born child can be tricky, especially if there is a large age gap (I’m talking like 4+ years between kids). While back-to-back babies generally don’t warrant a huge party, longer age gaps can be a bit harder to figure out. Just think, in 4+ years, you’ve quite possibly switched jobs (at least once), your friends may have changed significantly, and you are likely at a completely different place in your life. Basically, you are surrounded by a whole new set of people and a whole new set of life circumstances.
So what’s the rule of thumb on second-born baby showers? There really isn’t one. If you have new colleagues or friends who want to throw a baby bash for you every time you get knocked up, by all means, let them. But beware of fatiguing your old-school, tried and true friends. And by this I mean, inviting (and more importantly) expecting, your “regulars” to show up every time you call their name, especially for a baby shower the second, third, fourth time around… sigh, it can be a little much.
Here’s my advice for moms-to-be on second-time baby showers.
Non-traditional baby registry
While you may have gone crazy registering for everything from a luxury high chair to organic diaper covers for baby #1 on your baby registry, keep things simpler this time around. Remember, you should already have the necessities covered, so everything else is just icing on the cake at this point. Try registering through a site such as Diapers.com – Gifts for Mom, which has most everything you dream of for an expecting mom, plus some fun ideas for the second time around that you might not have thought of (like this fun diaper bag alternative or these cool closet dividers to keep your hectic life a little more organized).
Or go another route and try something new and fresh, like a monthly subscription service. Hands down, the best new mom & baby service on the market is Bluum. Bluum is a subscription box service for expectant mothers through preschool-age mommies. It’s full of trendy and innovative products, hand selected and reviewed by other mommies. It even ships directly to your front door every month. Seriously, how freakin’ easy is that? And did I mention, you’ll see some of your old favs packed away in the boxes as well… did someone say Melissa & Doug? If you’ve never tried a subscription service before (or even if you have), this one will not disappoint!
Keep the ambiance light
Rather than opting for a traditional shower in an apartment clubhouse, throw a pool party, BBQ, or casual get-together with your friends. Make it coed, as opposed to just the ladies, and make the party more about having a good time with supportive friends, rather than just about receiving baby gifts.
FUN TIP: Just because you can’t drink alcohol doesn’t mean everyone else can’t. You’ll win major bonus points by providing fun cocktails or serving up a vodka-infused watermelon.
The Guest List
Invite co-workers, friends, and family to the same party if possible; no need to keep the guest lists separate for a secondary shower, and since it’s super casual, the more the merrier. Your friends and family are more likely to come to a fun event to hang-out with you, than to a stuffy, obligatory party, so keep that in mind when creating the guest list. And again, friend-fatiguing is a real thing, so don’t overdo it.
Most importantly, if you decide to have (or are hosted) a second-born baby shower, get excited and own it, just like you did for baby #1. Your friends are throwing this party for you because they love and support you (and your growing family). There is no one-size-fits-all for baby showers and there are no rules for what is acceptable for secondary showers. Instead, do what feels best for you.