Why 4:75 is No Longer an Option

People like to paint rosy pictures for social media, but excuse me while I get real for a second. 4:75 - What does that number mean to you? If you look at it as a win-loss ratio, you'd be sitting at 5% (borderline epic failure). What does it mean to me? It's the number of games Keylen's dad has been able to be at since Key started sports 3 years ago. 4... out of 75. He has never seen him make a single kick in soccer, go to bat in baseball, or pass a basketball. He has missed ALL but 1 of over 20 touchdowns that Key has made. In the past decade that Terrence and I have spent together we have NEVER spent a conjoined Saturday-Sunday together (outside of being on vacation). NEVER. I was a single mom for a few years while Terrence and I took a break, but now being back together I feel like a (sometimes) single mom... a LOT of the time --- (if you had ever wondered where my blog name came from, therein lies the inspiration).

You grow up thinking that you go to school, get a job, and work your way through life. That is the "American" dream.

I call bullshit. That "dream" has failed us miserably, because while we do make enough money to live semi-comfortably, we have sacrificed the SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT thing in it's place. Time. Clocks do not rewind. There is no replay button. And somehow, me playing videos of Keylen's touchdowns so that his dad can see them, just isn't the same as him being there on the field. Corporate America sold us a dream that has fallen flat. The way it stands currently, we could both continue to plough through life, doing what we are doing now, in the hopes that by the time the boys are in college, maybe, just MAYBE, we will be far enough ahead that Terrence can be present at their games. But quite frankly, that idea sucks. I refuse to believe that this is as good as it gets.

So how do we change this? How can we make things end up differently? How do we make 10 years from now look the way we WANT it to, rather than the way it is. I know a lot of people in situations similar to ours that are constantly thinking this exact same thing. But most people (myself included) never do anything to change it... until, they reach a breaking point. I finally reached it! I'm so tired of being a single mom, that isn't actually a single mom. I'm tired of doing everything solo and going everywhere as a party of 1 + 2 kids. I'm tired of spending holidays and school breaks AT HOME because Terrence is working... again. He's always working. Yet, we continue to do the exact same thing.

We are the definition of insanity. 

Perhaps I should say, we WERE the definition... I decided to do something different. To see radical changes, one must make radical changes. So I did what any halfway sane person would do...I joined a business model in which a vast majority of people make almost NO money. None. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Some even spend more to be a part of the business than they make.  So please believe me when I say that I completely understand why you question my decision, and perhaps even laugh at my idiocracy.

To see radical changes, one must make radical changes.

I used to laugh at people who joined this type of business too. The more serious ones were the most interesting to me though. I heard their stories and I could totally relate to their "WHY." I would watch them (from a safe distance) and I would secretly hope they would fail so that I could be justified in my thinking that this type of business model simply doesn't work. Everyone likes to be 'right,' even if being right does absolutely nothing for you (other than give you an excuse as to why you shouldn't dare to dream big yourself). Dreaming big can be scary, so when you see others' dreams squashed, you feel better knowing that you 'played it safe' in your comfort zone. It's unfortunate, but it's true. Take a second and reread that. You'll realize you are probably a lot more like that person than you care to admit.  

But luckily for me, I have a few close friends who have been able to completely change the course of their life.

They think like me, they act like me, they have similar stories and situations... they are me, just with different last names and bigger houses. They saw the corporate system for exactly what it was; a "safe" haven, where you never get ahead but, (if you're lucky), won't get left behind either. People talk about a business like the one I joined as being a scam, a cult, or as some sort of brainwashing. I am very intrigued by this because I used to think this way too! But who is brainwashing who?

Aren't Corporate America and commonly misnamed "pyramid schemes" shaped similarly with a select few at the tippity-top and the rest down below hustling? Sure, one offers group insurance while the other does not, but let's look beyond that. While one has glass ceilings everywhere, the other does not. While one offers you the chance to slowly step up "the ladder" and make small, incremental salary changes over time, the other offers unlimited potential. While one may not reward going the extra mile, one is completely dependent on how hard you are willing to work. One offers you the ability to help someone you probably don't even know achieve THEIR DREAM, while the other offers you the ability to achieve YOUR OWN DREAMS while helping others you know, achieve theirs. One rewards being average, while the other rewards hustling (and grossly over rewards being extraordinary).

Do you have a dream?

Of course you do. Everyone does. I have a dream too! Doesn't mine matter? F*** yes it does. It matters! Everyone's matters. E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E has a dream and been given a gift to help them realize it. Very few of us use this gift though. Not because we don't want to, but because we are caught just trying to keep our head above water. We are caught in the daily grind and there is not enough time, money, or both, to actually realize and act on our passions. Thus, the world misses out on the gift that we possess; that YOU possess. Perhaps your passion isn't something that will make you filthy rich. Who cares! Do it anyway. Perhaps your passions is something that others will think is a waste of time? Who cares! Do it anyway. When you're doing what you love, you'll never work a day in your life. And ironically, if you're truly doing what you love, you'll probably end up making money along the way anyways, because when true passion shines through, it's hard for others not to be bought in. 

My dream is to be a writer and to inspire and empower women to change their lives, whether that be through fitness, or through helping them through an especially rough (sometimes) single mom moment. All it takes is ONE person to tell me they enjoyed reading something I wrote, or ONE person to tell me they pursued a new fitness routine because of something I said, to inspire me to keep going, to keep grinding, to keep writing. My blog does not make money (which probably means I am doing something wrong), but regardless, I do it because I love it. It lights my soul on fire. I spend money on personal trainers and gyms and get up at 5AM every day to work out because, it too, lights my soul on fire. I WILL become a full time writer someday and I WILL share my gift with the world. 

So, what will you do to change your default future?

All it takes is a single step to start a journey of a thousand miles. Is starting a side hustle right for everybody? No. It honestly isn't. You have to work... HARD. You have to constantly be "on" and you have to want it bad enough that it's worth putting yourself out there and getting out of your comfort zone. Again, if it were easy, everyone would be doing it... SUCCESSFULLY. They aren't though. Most people don't have what it takes to work a 9-5 and have a successful second business. Most people don't want it bad enough. The hustle most definitely is sold separately. BUT, if you're sick and tired of the way things currently are, if you're ready to make a change, and you're ready to work your ass off... EVEN when it's hard... EVEN when you want to quit... and EVEN when others tell you you're crazy... then maybe you're ready. Maybe you're ready to get one step closer to living your dream and sharing your gift with the world.

This is not a promo for the company I joined (which shall remain nameless for the purpose of this article), because this is about inspiration, creating change and finding a way to fuel your passion. But one may ask, why this company? Why did I choose to join this one? Is it because it was something I was passionate about and believed in? Yes. Is it because I believed it could help others change their lives through both products and business opportunities? Yes. This company was a perfect fit for me because it inspires women (and men) to look and feel their best and confidently put their best foot forward. I joined because it is helping me to realize my passion of becoming a full-time writer. Confidence shines from deep within, and confident people are unstoppable people. Unstoppable people are happy people. Confident and happy people find ways to live their dreams and to inspire and empower others to do the same.

So, is 4:75 an acceptable use of your time & talents?

No, it is not. If you have an area of your life that is failing miserably, be brave enough to CHANGE IT. Take the first step, jump off the cliff, have faith, and be resilient. Find an opportunity that will allow you to fuel the things in life that you are passionate about, whether that be a hobby, a career change, or a dramatic life change. And if everyone was doing exactly that.. if everyone was pursuing that which sets their souls on fire every day, this world would be transformed into an amazing place. Believe in yourself and your abilities. Remember, self doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.